Saturday, July 16, 2011

False Dawn #19: Comic Book Script

False Dawn #19: Out of the Pan
Part Five of Five: Dog Fight
Comic Book Script - Plot for 20 Pages
Devin Leigh Michaels

Twenty or twenty-two pages? Fabian Nicieza was right. It's really not that hard of a transition. It's just a matter of working the plot. (Maybe it have it vacuum for me...that'd be nice. Have the plot do something for ME for a change, not the other way around...)

As the Ral and his new misfit crew take on the Blue Hoodies, one Founding Father gives his life for the cause.

1—Full Page—Ral’s lying on a metallic ground, surrounded by debris. His shirt is ripped; he’s bleeding from a gash upon his head. He appears unconscious.
DIRECTOR (off): Mr. Dawson?
NARR: Who thought it was a good idea to go a few rounds with a freakin’ Amazon?
DIRECTOR (off): Mr. Dawson, can you hear me?
NARR: Seriously.

1—We’re back in the hallway where we left FD#18, where Agent Towne is lunging at Ral and Kainoa.

2—Kainoa and Ral jerk forward suddenly, toward him.
RAL and KAINOA: Ugh!

3—Sierra and Towne have the same pose. Both have hands up, palms flat, creating two invisible walls that sandwich Ral and Kainoa. (Perhaps to show the “invisible forces,” there can be an outline of blue?) Sierra is behind Kainoa and Ral; Towne is in front. Ral and Kainoa squirm as the forces press together.
NARR: Now I know how PB and J must feel.

4—Towne’s eyes roll up in his head.

1—Jayden stands over Towne, who is now unconscious on the floor. Jay salutes Ral and Kainoa with two fingers.

2—Ral and Kainoa are now on the floor, crouching. Kainoa returns the salute while Ral throws a shadow tentacle at Sierra.
RAL: When are you going to realize, Sierra.
RAL: Telekinetics are the wimpy kids in class. Telepaths ROCK.

3—The tentacle slices through her shoulder. She screams in pain.

1—Sierra kicks out Ral’s legs, stealing his sword

2—Sierra backhands Kainoa.

3—She slices the shadow tentacle off with Maiden’s Glory.

4—Then we see her target over Ral’s head—Rio, not too far away, his hands on someone’s arm, ice-blue fire about his hands.
NARR: She’s not after us.
NARR: She’s after the one person on the field who can stop her.
5—Close-up on Rio from the back, who’s on his knees, ice blue fire surrounding his hands as he presses down on the bloody arm injury of a red hoodie.
NARR: Rio.

1—Sierra lunges forward, Ral’s sword in her hand.

2—Ral puts out a hand while still on the floor. Kainoa’s behind him, barely with it.

3—She buries the sword in Jayden’s chest.

1—Rio turns, tears screaming from his eyes.

2—Kainoa’s eyes glow blue.
NARR: Kainoa’s eyes glow a dangerous, royal blue, but the tint—uncontrollable anger—scares me.

3—Ral and Sierra crash to the ground in the Blender. Kainoa falls to his feet effortlessly.
NARR: Ugh!

4—Ral stands to be next to Kainoa, who’s glaring at Sierra. His eyes practically glow. Ral’s looking at him, a little worried.
KAINOA: Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you.
NARR: Just what is this guy capable of?

5—Sierra raises my sword.
SIERRA: Because telekinetics are untouchable.
SIERRA (linked): All we wanted to foster your powers, your talent, your gift, and how do you repay us?

1—Ral falls to kick out her legs.
RAL: You wanted to make us slaves, and if we didn’t comply, you stole from us.

2—Sierra knocks him with the bunt of his own sword right in the cheek.
SIERRA: You believe your friends to have lost? Sight, voice—they’re sad but not tragic. Try being my sister. Try losing your entire BODY. Then you will know the true meaning of LOYALTY.
NARR: Holly.

3—Kainoa accepts a kick from her on his crossed wrists.
KAINOA: Then why don’t you side with us? Why do you fight FOR the project?
SIERRA: She is ALIVE. Your friend cannot say the same.

4—Kainoa and Ral, bleeding and huffing, look at each other with twin expressions of sympathy.
KAINOA: At least now he is free.

5—Sierra lunges forward.
SIERRA: And so will you be.

1—Sierra slices a thin line along Ral’s side as Kainoa ducks.
2—Sierra knees Kainoa in the groin while elbowing Ral in the cheek.

3—She forces her hand out directly in front of Ral’s face, her eyes glowing gold.

4—Same picture, but now being drowned out by whiteness.

5—Completely black panel.
DIRECTOR (no pointer): Mr. Dawson?

1—Same picture as page one, but from a different angle. Perhaps close up on Ral’s face, eyes closed.
DIRECTOR (off): Mr. Dawson, it is time you awakened.
RAL (weak): …nuh-uh…

2—We’re looking up at the shadowed figure. He’s a little tubby, older, like a grandfather’s build. We can’t see much of him now.

3—Ral’s tired eyes crack open. He really can’t do much more than that.
RAL: …don…cal…mah… ‘at…

1—The man now crouches down, and we see him—a bald, older man with a leathery face and hard eyes. He’s wearing a black suit with a blue tie.
DIRECTOR: Mr. T called. He thinks you don’t deserve his pity.

2—Close up on Ral, who tries to lift his head. He moves slightly upon the ground, lengthening his neck a bit, but that’s all he can do.
NARR: I try not to freak when my arms and legs don’t listen, but the only thing I can think is this is how a pop-tart must feel right before the toast clicks on.
DIRECTOR (off): You believe you and your peers have triumphed today but know this.

3—The Director bends down close to Ral to whisper.
DIRECTOR: You are nothing but a child whom I let win.
NARR: His breath reeks of cigarettes and peaches.

4—A shadow casts over Ral, and he looks back over his head.
DIRECTOR: When I play, I win, and I WILL play, Mr. Dawson.

1—A baby dragon stares down. He has black scales racing down his back and tiny blue horns poke down his spine. The crest of his head flies back with an accent of orange. His stomach glitters blue. His wings blue inside with a golden seam and black on the outside. The Director stands next to the dragon.
DIRECTOR: And I always have a royal flush.

2—Ice flames roll over Ral’s body.

1—Ral shoots up, his chest heaving.

2—Extreme close-up on his eyes. They’re wide, frightened, and directed upward.

3—Sierra stands over Ral, his sword above her head and glimmering.
SIERRA: Sorry, but last words are overrated.

1—The blades clashes with a shadow shield Ral formed. Ral smirks at her intense face.
RAL: Please. There’s no way I’m dying until Brittany Spears is once more number one on Twitter.

2—Ral drops the shield and throws a white ball of power at Sierra.

3—As she bends back, Kainoa kicks out her legs.

4—Ral reclaims the sword.

5—Sierra’s hand flies up into the panel, and Kainoa and Ral fly backwards.

1—They skid to a stop along the floor.
SIERRA: You believe yourself so powerful.

2—We’re behind Kainoa and Ral, looking between them, as Sierra stands before them, her hands flexing and tightening.
SIERRA: You are not fighting people, children. You are fighting an organization.

3—Ral smirks while Kainoa wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth.
KAINOA: Yeah, well. So are you.

4—Ral looks over his shoulder.
RAL: Daaamn….

1—FULL PAGE—Surrounding Sierra, Ral, and Kainoa are at least forty men and women with laser guns pointed in the middle. All wear black over shirts and cargo pants with army boots. On them is a blue fire 4 with a phoenix perched on the horizontal line. One has to be a blonde woman with a bun; a young, teenage African American girl her hair pulled back into a ponytail; an older man with salt and pepper hair who is built like a wrestling; and the last one looks like the older man but younger, with completely black hair.
KAINOA (linked): MY posse.

1— As the Defenders force Sierra to her knees, Kainoa helps Ral toward a bench on the edge of the scene, a hand pressing down on Ral’s bleeding stomach lash.
KAINOA: Well, what do you think?
RAL: Y’know, for defenders of time, they took their time getting here.

2—Ral sits down on the bench, holding both hands over his wound; Kainoa remains standing.
KAINOA (laughing): Seems like that, doesn’t—

3—Kainoa’s head turns at the scream.

4—A blonde-haired woman in her early forties dives forward, entrenching Kainoa in a tight hug.
NARR: They look nothing alike.

5—Her weight drags them both to the ground, where she continues to hold him.
NARR: She’s not Asian. She doesn’t have blue hair or a callous glare, but I know who she is.
NARR: She’s his mother.

1— Two men, tanned with dark, graying hair, come forward. One bends to hug Kainoa, the other places a hand on his head.

2—An African American girl, a little older than Kainoa, slaps him on the shoulder.
GIRL: Cuz, you totally need one of those digital locators they put in dogs.

3—Close up on Ral as he looks away.
NARR: I miss Mom and Connor and Lance and Casia.

4—Silhouette of a baby dragon flying across the dusky sky holding a lifeless body in the mouth. The boy’s Jayden.

1—A small dragon with black scales with a blue tint and yellow inseam lands in the middle of Stonehenge.

2—Dragon drops Jayden to the ground.

3—Dragon blows ice blue fire across Jayden’s body, engulfing it.

4—The stones shimmer golden as Jayden’s body bursts into red fire.

5—The tiny dragon howls, and ice fire burns its tail.

1—Black, leather scales soften and brighten as ice fire consumes the dragon’s body.

2—At its feet is the ash of Jayden’s body, the red embers sparkling but mostly out.

3—Close up on tan hands as they dusts off the ashes.

4—Close-up—In his hands is the newly reborn phoenix with red feathers and tiny beak.
SFX: Chirp! Chirp!

7—Rio cuddles the hatchling in his arms as night closes in on them.


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